At 1:44pm on Christmas Eve, my beloved Bucky left his beautiful squirrel body and returned to the Sun to assist his squirrel brothers and sisters with the long awaited Awakening of 2012. Dedicated to the Plan of Peace and Love for All Beings, Bucky inspired songs, blog posts, videos and books. He was responsible for the first squirrel crossing sign in Austin, and hundreds of enlightened sayings on cards and refrigerator magnets. He even saved his brother Pete from crossing over too soon. But most importantly, Bucky was my guru. He taught me how to love unconditionally. He loved me like a squirrel. He liked to sit on my left shoulder while
I sipped my morning coffee and shared his amazing squirrel thoughts with me. I would kiss him on his furry cheek and tell him how much I loved him and he would sniff my lips and hold onto my fingers with his little paws. He would gaze into my eyes and I would fall into an abyss of love. I do not have the words to describe the depth of my love for this sweet bodhisattva.
I have rescued and released many little squirrels, but none have been as loving, intelligent and aware as the Buckster. He came to me in August of 2009 having fallen out of a tree by Austin Parks and Rec. on Riverside and Lamar. One of the employees found him on the ground and called me. He was perhaps only 10 to 14 days old. I loved him, fed him, gave him Reiki and a million little kisses. He grew and grew and before I knew it, it was time for him to be released. On that fateful day, I put him in the huge release cage outside my front door, just like all the other squirrels that had been wintered over and ready to join the neighborhood. He seemed to enjoy being outside in his new home. I went inside and in about 15 minutes I heard him barking outside. I ran out in time to see a cat run down my driveway and lots of squirrels running hither and thither. Once the commotion was over, I still heard a squirrel barking! "Bucky, why are you barking? You are safe in the cage", I said. He kept it up, so I opened the door and there was little Bucky with his face full of blood! OMG! What had happened? Apparently, he got his teeth stuck on the cage wire and when a cat came by, the squirrels on the outside of the cage took off running and so did Bucky. But with his teeth stuck, he cut his face and injured his teeth! So off we went back in the house again for another few months of rehabilitation. Once his face healed, it became evident that he could not trim his own teeth anymore because the uppers and lowers were out of alignment. So we started having to make trips to the vet for regular trimming. Poor Bucky.... squirrels really do not enjoy riding in cars. And they most certainly do not appreciate the barking dogs at the vet clinic. But without trimming, squirrels' teeth continue to grow, eventually preventing them from eating!
Time went on and last Spring, his upper incisors broke off in between visits. The vet didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with that. But the weird thing was those teeth never grew back. In another month or so, Bucky started to have sniffling and congestion and I started to think something was wrong. I had some xrays taken and they showed a mass there behind the upper incisors but the vet was not knowledgeable enough about squirrels and suggested we simply treat the congestion. I learned that most vets really know very little about squirrels. Bucky would only accept the antibiotics one time and no matter how I tried to hide the taste in foods, he knew what was going on and put his paw down. No drugs for me!
I gave him tangerines for VitC, colloidal silver in his water, and lots of love and Reiki healing. He seemed to have normal days and then days where the congestion got really bad. Then he lost his lower incisors. He started to have blood mixed in with his runny nose and I was getting worried.... what in the world could be the problem?
What I found out is that a severe trauma to a squirrels' teeth can result in the growth of a tumor that sits at the roots and moves into the sinus cavity. This invasive growth eventually suffocates the squirrel and the only way it can be treated is with surgery. The most important factor is early detection!!! Sadly, I learned that Bucky's odontoma had already aggressively blocked much of his airways and he was starting to really struggle for air. It was too large to operate on safely and the only kind solution was euthanasia. How does one know the right time to perform such an unpleasant remedy? How does one end the life of one's beloved?
Bucky had become even more affectionate in those last days. He would jump on my shoulder while I was on the internet and hold onto my hand. And often he would crawl into my lap and just want to be held. I will never forget these tender moments. How blessed I am to experience his sweet love! One night as he was trying to breathe and not having much luck on settling down to sleep, I said to him, "You know Bucky, you don't have to stay here for me. I don't want you to be hurting. When you are ready to go back to the Sun, please give me a sign." The following night he seemed especially uncomfortable and I was up with him til 3 am. When I finally got to bed, my nose suddenly became completely blocked and I had a hard time going to sleep. I knew Bucky was communicating to me that 'it was time'. The next morning I called an emergency vet clinic found out that I could bring him in anytime. I still couldn't believe this was happening! To nurture a baby squirrel practically from birth and then to have to put him to sleep is the hardest thing I have ever done!
That morning I sat on the couch with Bucky in my lap, gently stroking his tired little body. I thanked him for all he had done, all he had taught me and recounted all the good times we had. He assured me that he had an important mission as part of the Galactic Federation. He reminded me that it was the squirrels' job to insure the successful Awakening of humankind and that depended on his return to the Sun (Galactic Headquarters). He said that humans had failed to save Lemuria from destruction, failed again with Atlantis and this time the squirrels could not let destruction happen a third time! Tearfully, I knew he spoke the truth! At that point he looked up at me and with his obsidian eyes poured a tidal wave of love into my heart and out poured more tears of love. I knew it was time to go. I thanked him for his fearless spirit and for taking the vow of the bodhisattva!
My daughter was with me as I held Bucky during his liberation. The drug that was injected into his tiny catheter stopped his squirrelheart... and in a fraction of a second his spirit leapt to the Sun. AHHHHHH....he looked so peaceful... finally able to rest! I had midwifed his birth into the realm of formlessness, the field beyond right and wrong. I told him I would meet him there someday.
Bucky and I came home and I held him lovingly all afternoon and evening. I cried buckets of tears of love. I cannot label it grief or sadness, for those words are too small to portray the expansiveness of my emotion. There is only one word for it... LOVE! I sat there with him and let LOVE have its way with me. No holding back... just letting it flow through me like a gigantic wave. Hours flew by. I put on my favorite Indian chants and bajans and we danced and sang and I felt like I was floating in squirrelove... and I was and still am. At midnight I realized that my beloved still had not started to decay. I waited and just continued to love him and this time together. 2 am, 4 am, 5am... still no smell of decay! I realized that this is exactly what had happened to Yogananda upon his death! Then I recalled the photo of Yogananda with the "friendly squirrel" taken in 1924! OMG! That was Bucky!!!!!!!
This was Bucky's way of telling me he wanted to be cremated just like the sadhus of India at the edge of the Ganges! Thanks to the help of many loving friends, Bucky's requests have been honored. Thus, we come to the end of Bucky's "form" but not the end of his life! His life lives on in all of us who have been touched by his love. He has been (and still is) my guiding light.....
